Thursday, September 6, 2012

Day 10 - Weigh In Wednesday

What a Yo-Yo of a day.

Its not until I sit here writing this that I forgot to blog about my results for the last week. But Ill write about that soon. First I will go into the days ups, downs, fails and wins. Because it was one of those days!

Well I slept through the alarm again. At first I was pretty good. I accepted it. I told myself I will still get up and dressed and then as soon as the kids go to school I will train. Oh boy was I wrong!
As soon as I got up I knew straight away that I was going to have a bad morning with Connor. My little 9 yr old that is autistic.
I said one thing out of place to him and BAM instant meltdown!! For those that dont understand autism and meltdowns, a meltdown is when the child loses control on his sensors. Think extreme 2 year old temper tantrum and then times it by about 10 and include the strength of a teenager. He started by slamming the door. Then continued to throw himself on the floor, kicking the door, then got up and threw toys around him room. Threw what ever was on top of his drawers onto the floor. All while screaming like he was being murdered. So I tried picking him up to control him and he goes all rigid and heavy and kicks, still while screaming.
Anyway, those sort of things in my morning is exhausting. By the time he went to school I was mentally and physically drained. I had nothing more to give. I couldnt not find one iota of enthusiasm to train at all. 
At first, I was beating myself up about not training. I was trying to tell myself that even going for a walk would make me feel better. But I just couldnt! 
A lot of "here we go again, your going to fail. You cant even push through one day how are you going to do the next 10 weeks?" 
The mental abuse to myself went on. Until I remembered something that Mish said a couple of rounds ago. "We all have slip ups, its how we continue on from them that counts. Just own it and move on"
So thats what I did. I acknowledged that today was a bad day. That I now know that I can not sleep through that alarm no matter how tired I am. I owned that I decided to have the day off of training and I committed to doing a little of extra training each day to make up for it.
That was a big light bulb moment for me.  That I had the mental strength to own it and move on and stop beating myself up about it! 

So onto the good news!

Today was weigh in day! Ready for it??
I lost 1.5 kilos!!! 
To be honest, at first I was kind of disappointed with that number I was expecting more BUT a previous light bulb moment from this round about those numbers on the scales  reminded me that its just a number. A bloody good number! A lot of people work a lot harder than me and get a smaller number. And at the end of the day I am aiming for 3.3 kilo by week 4... that 1.5kg I lost this week is a good way to making that goal!!!

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