Day 12...

I got up like a good little girl and trained. No hesitation at all when the alarm went off.

After Wednesdays lesson I would be surprised if I ever sleep in again. Unless I can of course! 

I have been forgetting to mention the past few posts that my training has been great, so has my food. I noticed looking over my blog today that I havnt even mentioned how the food side of things had been going. I guess thats because really, food hasnt been a big problem. I mean yes im human, I do have small binges but nothing more than going over my calorie quota by no more than 300 cals. Which is a maintain calorie quota for a normal person anyway. I dont know, with my weight loss stuff once I have my eye on the prize, food very rarely is a problem. Its the exercise that I struggle with.

I have even overhauled the kids lunch boxes this time! I have taken all of the sugary crap out and replaced it with healthy snacks. To my surprise they were actually really happy about it. 

Thinking of that, In my children I really do have an amazing little cheer squad there. I have a chalk board on my fridge reminding me of the things I need to do each day. Each afternoon they go through the list and ask me if I have achieved them for the day and if I say no, especially with the driving on my own side of things, I will often get a gentle little "thats ok mummy, practice makes perfect". Each Wednesday morning they get up and ask if I have weighed in and when I tell them my result they will give me a high five. With the dinners they ask if its healthy. And when I say yes their little faces glow with delight. My children are like little sponges. And the path of a healthy life is slowly sinking in. They enjoy it and it sets my mind at ease knowing that they wont have a childhood being teased of obesity like I did in primary and high school. They enjoy coming to boot camp with me on the weekends too and often ask if they can run around with me. They even joined in with training with Margie a few weekends ago. 

The "Gold Coast Go Getters" have a massive training session tomorrow in Brisbane. I will be going and participating. Im actually pretty excited. But I also have that double sided sword going on. I did commit to going with the girls and leaving Karl at home. Learn to stand on my own two feet and to just enjoy some time away with the girls. But I have come down with a bladder infection which is making me pee ever two seconds (not literally, but very frequently) so of course the anxiety has kicked in. I have now asked Karl to take me to the training because I dont want to be an inconvenience to anyone. Its a big drive to Brisbane and with this infection I would probably need to go to the toilet a couple of times. And knowing that I need to go to the toilet sets my anxiety off, stupid I know but that negative committee in my head likes to have debates. I am telling myself just to explain it to the girls, They want to support my journey, but that little voice inside my head doesnt want to put anyone out. Im so upset with myself right now. I should be fighting this crap and allowing people to help, but everytime I think I can, something happens to tell me I cant.  Im really excited about the dinner and dancing and getting dressed up for a change tomorrow night though. Its been a long time since I have worn make up, dress and high heels. You know, since I have looked like a woman! If your all lucky, I may even take some photos from training and the night out and then post them in Sundays reflective blog :)