Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Day 16- Let the battle begin......

From a massive high to a massive low all with in a period of a couple of days.
I was sooo high on Saturday from training with the girls, to being totally flat and deflated yesterday and today. 
The alarm went off yesterday morning as normal. I really didnt want to get up. I just wanted to curl up and put the covers over my head and pretend that the day had not started already. But I got myself up, reminding myself that if I dont get it done now, then it wont get done.
I applied the 10 minute rule. 
I got to 13 minutes and I physically could not push myself. My calves were cramping in both legs. My whole body was fatigued. I was really struggling.
I decided that I gave it a go. I would allow myself to stop and once the kids had gone to school I would do a dvd.
Well that didnt happen either. I could feel all of the excuses creeping up. Im too tired, I cant be bothered, Ill just give myself today to rest if that is what my body wants.
I was not happy with my decision but I was not going to beat myself up about it.

Today was worse. I didnt even turn my alarm on. I was still awake when my alarm should have gone off. But did I get up? No I did not. I allowed the old me to take over. Im too tired. Ill train later. 
Again, later didnt happen. 

I really need to find a happy medium that works for me. So far getting up early for training did work but it is leaving me exhausted. Why do I allow tiredness to consume me? A lot of other people get up and just put themselves into robot mode to train so why cant I?? 
I could try training after the kids go to school again and see if it works, BUT  I would have to be extremely strict with myself to do that because life had begun at that stage. The negative thoughts have time to creep in. Do I just push through being super tired and hope its just a hurdle or do I find another avenue??

On the upside I have been under my quota for food even tho I havnt been training. So I should still have a loss tomorrow regardless. 

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