Saturday, August 4, 2012

Bit long ago but still true.... an update and continuation

Wow that blog was written so long ago. Still all very true, well mainly. A few updates on me, why I now want to blog, Why its been so long since my last post, 12wbt and the contemplations of my crazy mind.

5 months ago we moved back to the gold coast. I would love to say that I feel much better since being back here, but I dont. In fact, things have gotten worse. My anxiety comes and goes, Im slowly learning how to control it, but I still have my days where I dont want to leave the house, or drive. Im not driving on my own, and that last post has kinda helped on where I was and where I need to get myself back to. The depression is controlling my life right now. I have no fight left to stop it either.

I have spent the last 10 weeks back on the 12wbt. With the hope of giving me something to focus on. The first 4 weeks was great, I went great guns, then something happened and I came plummeting down again. This is why I am starting this blog again. To keep me focused and show myself where I have come from, the ramblings that go on in my mind. The things I talk myself out of, or into.

I have just signed up for the next round of the 12wbt also. I really want to give it a good shot. I want to get better, I am so over being this person. So day by day I will post about my wins, my losses, my highs, my lows. My thoughts from preseason task. Motivational pictures that jump up and bite me so I can reflect on them.

I dont want to be the person that says no to group outings anymore and then sits back and wishes I should have gone. So each day I will push myself through each challenge set, I will take my vitamins, I will MAKE myself drive a little on my own and I will MAKE myself get up early and train. That way its done and I cant talk myself out of it. :)

I want to share this motivational picture that touches me.

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